Welcome to the Zone of Chaos: A Midlife Reality Check on Perimenopause

Let’s be real for a second — perimenopause isn’t some gentle hormonal handover.
It’s chaos. Messy, unpredictable, and often leaves you standing in the kitchen wondering why you opened the fridge… again.

If you’ve ever said, “What the hell is happening to me?” — you’re not alone, and no, you’re not going crazy.

Welcome to the Zone of Chaos.
(Yeah, it’s a thing. And no, you can’t meditate your way out of it.)

So... what is perimenopause, really?

Perimenopause is the lead-up act to menopause — but it’s not a neat little countdown.
It’s more like someone threw your hormones into a blender and pressed 'pulse.'

It can last anywhere from a few years to over a decade, usually starting sometime in your 40s. Oestrogen and progesterone levels start fluctuating wildly — not gradually fading out like we were led to believe.

Think: hormonal rollercoaster, but with less fun and more crying in traffic.

What does the chaos actually feel like?

Ohhh, let me count the ways:

• You can’t sleep… but you’re exhausted.

• You’re hot… but your feet are cold.

• You’re suddenly raging about the dishwasher… and crying at the brown avocado.

• Your period ghosts you for months… then shows up like an uninvited ex.

• Your brain? Foggy. Like 'Where did I park?' kind of foggy.

• Your body? Not broken — but definitely not feeling like it used to.

The Zone of Chaos messes with your mood, memory, energy, temperature, libido, weight, and general sense of who the hell you are.

Here’s the kicker: It’s normal. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

The problem?
Most of us weren’t told this was coming. Our mums didn’t talk about it.
Doctors often don’t take it seriously.
And social media? Mostly full of conflicting advice and 25-year-olds selling hormone gummies.

But you’re not weak, broken, or losing your mind.
You’re moving through a biological shift that affects every system in your body — and that deserves attention, support and some bloody compassion.

So, what do you do in the Zone of Chaos?

You anchor yourself.
In habits that help.
In strength that carries you.
In women who get it.
In support that actually makes sense (hint: not fad diets or detox teas).

Here’s what I recommend — not as any kind of meno-guru, but as your midlife wingwoman:

• Lift heavy things. Muscle is your menopause insurance policy.

• Eat to fuel, not to shrink. Protein, fibre, fats — real food, not fear-based diets.

• Move your body — not as punishment, but to process the stress and steady your mood.

• Sleep when you can. And when you can’t? Nap without guilt.

• Talk to a menopause-literate doctor if your symptoms are wrecking your quality of life.

• Lean on your sisters. Connection is everything.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

Perimenopause might feel like falling apart — but really, it’s a rebuilding.
A powerful, gritty, messy rebirth into a wiser, stronger, sassier you.

It’s not always pretty. But damn, it’s real.

And you don’t have to do it alone.

You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

XO Jane